i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
