This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
