If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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