i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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