I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
