This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
