If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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