Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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