Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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