She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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