Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
