My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
