we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
