they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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