i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
