Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
