At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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