i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
