in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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