when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
