My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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