Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
