I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
