Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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