drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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