operation harelip BJ is a go
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize