So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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