There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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