i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
