He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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