I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
