Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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