Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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