I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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