i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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