oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Every concussion has its silver lining
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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