Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize