this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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