i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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