The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize