She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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