It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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