i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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