you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
