If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
