Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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