Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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