"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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