it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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