Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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