'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
