i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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