Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am available for nakedness
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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