Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
