He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
