You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
