I just threw up on my dentist
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
