My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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